What is worse than sobbing?

What is the Period of PURPLE Crying?

Marilyn Barr, Founder/Former Executive Director, NCSBS

The Period of PURPLE Crying is a new way to help parents understand this time in their baby’s life, which is a normal part of every infant’s development. It is confusing and concerning to be told your baby «has colic» because it sounds like it is an illness or a condition that is abnormal. When the baby is given medication to treat symptoms of colic, it reinforces the idea that there is something wrong with the baby, when in fact, the baby is going through a very normal developmental phase. That is why we prefer to refer to this time as the Period of PURPLE Crying. This is not because the baby turns purple while crying. The acronym is a meaningful and memorable way to describe what parents and their babies are going through.

The Period of PURPLE Crying begins at about 2 weeks of age and continues until about 3-4 months of age. There are other common characteristics of this phase, or period, which are better described by the acronym PURPLE. All babies go through this period. It is during this time that some babies can cry a lot and some far less, but they all go through it.

Scientists decided to look at different animal species to see if they go through this developmental stage.
So far, all breast feeding animals tested do have a similar developmental stage of crying more
in the first months of life as human babies do.

When these babies are going through this period they seem to resist soothing. Nothing helps. Even though certain soothing methods may help when they are simply fussy or crying, bouts of inconsolable crying are different. Nothing seems to soothe them.

During this phase of a baby’s life they can cry for hours and still be healthy and normal. Parents often think there must be something wrong or they would not be crying like this. However, even after a check-up from the doctor which shows the baby is healthy they still go home and cry for hours, night after night. «It was so discouraging,» said one dad. «Our baby giggles and seems fine during the day and almost like clockwork, he starts crying around 6 pm. He is growing and healthy, so why does he cry like this?»

Often parents say their baby looks like he or she is in pain. They think they must be, or why would they cry so much. Babies who are going through this period can act like they are in pain even when they are not.

In my own case, I know my son was not sick. He was in the top percentile for growth, he giggled and was happy other times Then he would start to cry, and cry, and cry. The doctor kept telling me he is just fine.

After learning all of this, we decided we needed to share this information with other parents. We had to take this information and put it into a statement that told the story about this phase in a baby’s life. Dr. Ronald Barr, a developmental pediatrician who has likely done more studies on infant crying than anyone in the world, came up with the phrase the Period of PURPLE Crying. His idea was to explain this phase to parents of new babies so they would know it was normal and they would be encouraged that it would come to an end.

The acronym PURPLE is used to describe specific characteristics of an infant’s crying during this phase and let parents and caregivers know that what they are experiencing is indeed normal and, although frustrating, is simply a phase in their child’s development that will pass. The word Period is important because it tells parents that it is only temporary and will come to an end.

Parents, after learning about Period of PURPLE Crying have said, «Finally they have called it something that describes what we are going through. This word colic was hard to get a handle on.»

What is PURPLE?

• What is the Period of PURPLE Crying?
• Sleeping
• Soothing
• Crying
• Protecting
• Information for Dads

What is worse than sobbing?

American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fifth Edition. Copyright © 2016 by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company. Published by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company. All rights reserved.

sob

vb, sobs, sobbing or sobbed
1. (Physiology) (intr) to weep with convulsive gasps
2. (tr) to utter with sobs
3. to cause (oneself) to be in a specified state by sobbing: to sob oneself to sleep .
n
(Physiology) a convulsive gasp made in weeping
[C12: probably from Low German; compare Dutch sabben to suck]
ˈsobber n
ˈsobbing n, adj

Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged, 12th Edition 2014 © HarperCollins Publishers 1991, 1994, 1998, 2000, 2003, 2006, 2007, 2009, 2011, 2014

sob

v. sobbed, sob•bing,
n. v.i.

1. to weep with a convulsive catching of the breath.
2. to make a sound resembling this.
v.t.
3. to utter with sobs.
4. to put, send, etc., by sobbing or with sobs: to sob oneself to sleep.
n.
5. the act of sobbing.
6. any sound suggesting this.
[1200–50; Middle English sobben]

S.O.B.

or SOB,

(sometimes l.c.) Slang.
son of a bitch.

Random House Kernerman Webster’s College Dictionary, © 2010 K Dictionaries Ltd. Copyright 2005, 1997, 1991 by Random House, Inc. All rights reserved.

sob

Past participle: sobbed
Gerund: sobbing

Collins English Verb Tables © HarperCollins Publishers 2011
Thesaurus Antonyms Related Words Synonyms Legend:
Switch to new thesaurus
dyspnea, dyspnoea — difficult or labored respiration
dirty word, obscenity, smut, filth — an offensive or indecent word or phrase
disagreeable person, unpleasant person — a person who is not pleasant or agreeable

crying, tears, weeping — the process of shedding tears (usually accompanied by sobs or other inarticulate sounds); «I hate to hear the crying of a child»; «she was in tears»

weep, cry — shed tears because of sadness, rage, or pain; «She cried bitterly when she heard the news of his death»; «The girl in the wheelchair wept with frustration when she could not get up the stairs»

Based on WordNet 3.0, Farlex clipart collection. © 2003-2012 Princeton University, Farlex Inc.

sob

verb

1. cry, weep, blubber, greet (Scot. or archaic), howl, bawl, snivel, shed tears, boohoo She began to sob again, burying her face in the pillow.

noun
1. cry, whimper, howl Her body was racked by a violent single sob.

Collins Thesaurus of the English Language – Complete and Unabridged 2nd Edition. 2002 © HarperCollins Publishers 1995, 2002

sob

verb
To make inarticulate sounds of grief or pain, usually accompanied by tears:

The American Heritage® Roget’s Thesaurus. Copyright © 2013, 2014 by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company. Published by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company. All rights reserved.

Separation Anxiety

Tearful, tantrum-filled goodbyes are common during a child’s earliest years. Around the first birthday, many kids develop separation anxiety, getting upset when a parent, grandparent, or other primary caregiver tries to leave them with someone else.

Though separation anxiety is a perfectly normal part of childhood development, it can be unsettling.

Understanding what your child is going through and having a few ways to cope ready can help both of you get through it.

About Separation Anxiety

Babies adapt pretty well to other caregivers. Parents probably feel more anxiety about being separated than infants do! As long as their needs are being met, most babies younger than 6 months adjust easily to other people.

Between 4–7 months of age, babies develop a sense of «object permanence.» They’re realizing that things and people exist even when they’re out of sight. Babies learn that when they can’t see their caregiver, that means they’ve gone away. They don’t understand the concept of time, so they don’t know that this person will come back, and can become upset by their absence. For example, whether the caregiver is in the kitchen, in the next bedroom, or at the office, it’s all the same to the baby, who might cry until mom is nearby again.

Kids between 8 months and 1 year old are growing into more independent toddlers, yet are even more uncertain about being separated from a parent. This is when separation anxiety develops, and children may become agitated and upset when a parent tries to leave.

Whether you need to go into the next room for just a few seconds, leave your child with a sitter for the evening, or drop off your child at daycare, your child might now react by crying, clinging to you, and resisting attention from others.

The timing of separation anxiety can vary. Some kids might go through it later, between 18 months and 2½ years of age. Some never experience it. And for others, certain life stresses can trigger feelings of anxiety about being separated from a parent: a new childcare situation or caregiver, a new sibling, moving to a new place, or tension at home.

How Long Does It Last?

How long separation anxiety lasts can vary, depending on the child and how family memebers respond. In some cases, depending on a child’s temperament, separation anxiety can last from infancy through the elementary school years.

Separation anxiety that affects an older child’s normal activities can be a sign of a deeper anxiety disorder. If separation anxiety appears out of the blue in an older child, there might be another problem, like bullying or abuse.

Separation anxiety is different from the normal feelings older kids have when they don’t want a parent to leave (which can usually be overcome if a child is distracted enough). And older kids do understand that their behavior can affect parents. If you run back into the room every time your child cries or cancel your plans, your child will continue to use this tactic to avoid separation.

What You Might Feel

Separation anxiety might have you feeling a variety of emotions. It can be nice to feel that your child is finally as attached to you as you are to them. But you’re also likely to feel guilty about taking time out for yourself, leaving your child with another caregiver, or going to work. And you may start to feel overwhelmed by the amount of attention your child seems to need from you.

Keep in mind that your little one’s unwillingness to leave you is a good sign that healthy attachments have developed between the two of you. Eventually, your child will be able to remember that you always return after you leave, and that will be comfort enough while you’re gone. This also gives kids a chance to develop coping skills and a little independence.

Making Goodbyes Easier

These tips can help ease kids and parents through this difficult period:

• Timing matters. Try not to start daycare or childcare with an unfamiliar person when your child is between the ages of 8 months and 1 year, when separation anxiety is first likely to appear. Also, try not to leave when your child is tired, hungry, or restless. If at all possible, schedule your departures for after naps and mealtimes.
• Practice. Practice being apart from each other, and introduce new people and places slowly. If you plan to leave your child with a relative or a new babysitter, invite that person over in advance so they can spend time together while you’re in the room. If your child is starting at a new daycare center or preschool, make a few visits there together before a full-time schedule begins. Practice leaving your child with a caregiver for short periods so that they can get used to being away from you.
• Be calm and consistent. Create an exit ritual during which you say a pleasant, loving, and firm goodbye. Stay calm and show confidence in your child. Reassure them that you’ll be back — and explain when you’ll return using concepts kids will understand (such as after lunch). Give your full attention when you say goodbye, and when you say you’re leaving, mean it; coming back will only make things worse.
• Follow through on promises. It’s important to make sure that you return when you have promised to. This is critical — this is how your child will develop the confidence that they can make it through the time apart.

As hard as it may be to leave a child who’s screaming and crying for you, it’s important to have confidence that the caregiver can handle it. By the time you get to your car, your child is likely to have calmed down and be playing with other things.

If you’re caring for another person’s child who’s having separation anxiety, try to distract the child with an activity or toy, or with songs, games, or anything else that’s fun. You may have to keep trying until something just clicks with the child.

Also, try to distract the child from thinking about missing their family, but do answer the child’s questions in a simple and straightforward way to reassure them. You might say: «Your parents are going to be back as soon as they’re done dinner. It’s OK to miss them, but let’s play with some toys!»

It’s Only Temporary

Remember, this phase will pass. If your child has never been cared for by anyone but you, is naturally shy, or has other stresses, separation anxiety may be worse than it is for other kids.

Also, trust your instincts. If your child refuses to go to a certain babysitter or daycare center or shows other signs of tensions, such as trouble sleeping or loss of appetite, there could be a problem with the childcare situation.

If intense separation anxiety lasts into preschool, elementary school, or beyond and interferes with daily activities, discuss it with your doctor. It could be a sign of a more significant concern known as separation anxiety disorder. Kids with this disorder fear being apart from their family members and are often convinced that something bad will happen. Talk with your doctor if your child has signs of this, including:

• panic symptoms (such as nausea, vomiting, or shortness of breath) or panic attacks before a parent leaves
• nightmares about separation
• fear of sleeping alone (although this is also common in kids who don’t have separation anxiety)
• excessive worry about being lost or kidnapped or going places without a parent

For most kids, the anxiety of being apart from a parent or primary caregiver passes without any need for medical attention. But if you have concerns, talk to your doctor.