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What not to do when you are manifesting?

Manifesting vs. Surrendering—Take Action or Let the Universe Lead the Way?

So you’ve learned about the Law of Attraction. Every day, you visualize what you want, repeat mantras, think positively, and stare at your vision board. But after doing all this faithfully for months or even years, you still fail to manifest. Why?

There’s another school of thought to simply surrender your desires to the creator, what spiritual author Tosha Silver calls «Offering.» Ask for the Universe’s guidance, let go, and look for bread crumbs to follow. If you don’t get an answer, keep asking until you do.

But what if you’ve tried this too and still don’t get what you want?

In this guide on how to start manifesting, I cover:

  • Manifesting vs. Surrendering
  • What Can Prevent You from Manifesting
  • How to Manifest
  • When to Surrender or Use Offering
  • Manifesting Checklist
  • More Manifesting Tips

Are you using the law of attraction to manifest your dream life, but it

Manifesting vs. Surrendering

Manifesting can go wrong if we’re pushing too hard to make the ego‘s wishes come true instead of what’s really for our soul’s highest good. Obsession and control energy, expecting things to happen in an unrealistic timeline, and having our happiness depend on the wish being manifested can actually set us back.

By surrendering, we let go, but many people may interpret this as being passive, which is not what Tosha Silver teaches. Instead, she says, Offering is when «the right actions begin to flow through you, rather than by you. You are given the courage to take steps that would have scared you to death.»

If you’re a little more advanced in the manifestation game, you already know that you must balance both manifesting and surrendering for the best results. It may sound like a paradox, but they can work together.

First, here are some reasons why your desires might have been blocked from being manifested so far.

What Can Prevent You From Manifesting

Divine Timing

You might want something to happen now, but life is easier when you fall in harmony with the divine timing of your life and also the divine timing of this planet. For example, I had certain plans involving other people in 2020, but then Covid hit. I had to put those plans on hold, but I used this time to focus on accomplishing goals I had to do alone. Sometimes delays can give us opportunities to create the proper vessels so we can receive what we desire in a balanced way.

It’s Not Meant for You

Sometimes you can be so set on achieving a goal, but what if there is something better out there for you? Perhaps the universe is doing you a favor by saying «no» or «not right now.» You might think you’re taking the long route when you’re actually getting a shortcut. Looking back, if I actually got some of the things I wanted when I was younger, it would’ve distracted me from my real purpose, wasting maybe years of my time. This is why it would be good to really think about what you want and why you want it, whether it’s what your soul truly wants or if it’s what other people want for you.

Not Taking Action

Yes, you still need to take action to make your dreams happen. I knew someone who started a new business. She figured since she was manifesting/Offering, the clients would just come to her. Aside from putting up a website, she didn’t do anything else to promote herself. She figured if no clients came to her, this career just wasn’t meant for her.

That sounds like a half-hearted attempt to me, maybe even a half-hearted desire. To be successful, taking action is required. We are co-creating with Light but we still need to earn it and show the creator that we are ready for it. When you’re guided by the creator, you’ll be taking inspired action. This is why strengthening your intuition is beneficial. Keep asking for the next step, and your path will be illuminated.

Too Attached to the Result

If you ever think manifesting a particular thing is going to be your ticket to eternal happiness, you’re likely setting yourself up for disappointment. Another paradox here, but you must be happy and grateful in the present moment with what you have to attract what you want. Abundance attracts more abundance. Get in the daily practice of giving gratitude for all the good in your life, big and small.

Lack of Accountability

For example, if you want to manifest a million dollars but are currently running away from paying your bills, you’re showing the universe that you’re not responsible enough to handle a lot of money. Be accountable so that you can be trusted as a positive vessel for more good things to come. When you’re not ready to receive something, a blessing can become a curse. For example, you might have heard of people who found that winning the lottery was the worst thing that ever happened to them.

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Lack of Generosity

When you do receive a little money, do you hold on to it tightly out of a scarcity mindset or do you use it for good? You don’t need to give away everything you earn, but keep in mind that sharing attracts more abundance. This is not limited to money. Even sharing good energy, wishing other people well instead of being jealous and coveting what they have, and being kind can go a long way. Be generous with yourself too. For example, are you using the money you manifested to buy nutritious food, or do you cut corners by only eating cheap junk?

Old Karma and Vows

Maybe you haven’t earned enough positive karmic points to get what you want yet. Or manifesting a certain thing can actually be bad for you. For example, I heard of someone who wanted to manifest a car, but he had pending negative karma with driving. If he owned a car, he could get hurt in an accident. After he removed that karma, he was able to manifest more than one car. Sometimes you’re not manifesting because the universe wants to keep you safe.

Many of us have also made vows in our Akashic Records that seemed like a good idea in past lives. For example, taking a vow of poverty to participate in certain religions. That old vow can impede our current life’s desire to be wealthy. Personality, I discovered some time ago I had made a vow in a past life to live a humble life. While vows like that sound noble, they can block manifesting more wealth and abundance, so it’s better to remove those vows.

Your Current Situation Benefits You

Sometimes a seemingly negative person or situation can teach you valuable lessons. Perhaps you hate your current job because it is grueling, but it helps you develop a strong work ethic in preparation for your dream career. Whatever it is, once you realize the lesson, you can stop obligating these people or situations to continue to teach you.

Not in the Same Vibration as the Goal

We attract what is in our frequency. If what we want is on a higher frequency, then we have to do the work so we can get up there to receive it. This includes releasing fears, doubts, blockages, and old patterns and programming. Sometimes you can manifest, but it doesn’t show up the way you wanted it. What is manifested reflects your current beliefs, positive or negative. For example, if you manifest for a soulmate, and the person who shows up is lacking some important traits you asked for, look into those areas in yourself and see if you still have related negative beliefs or programming.

How to Manifest

Make a list of what you want. For each goal, get specific on what it will look like in your life and how you feel to already have it.

Having trouble pinpointing your goals? Read my blog post “How to Write Goals for Manifesting.”

If you feel doubt or unease about achieving certain desires, look into those feelings because they’ll give clues to your blockages. Do you actually want to manifest this goal? Do you think it’s impossible to have it? Do you feel unworthy of it?

Once you’re aware of your blockages, you can remove them. Since I’m an intuitive healer, I can remove my own negative beliefs quickly using the healing modalities I’m certified in. If you’re not a trained healer, you can read my post on 7 energy healing methods because there are some methods you can learn and use on your own, such as the Quantum Breakthrough Code.

Removing blockages is part of the spiritual work of earning what you desire, building that vessel to receive it, and showing the creator that you are deserving.

The actual manifesting process I use from ThetaHealing. According to ThetaHealing creator Vianna Stibal, manifesting via the spoken word is effective 30-40% of the time, visualizing is effective 50% of the time, and the Theta wave manifesting is effective 80-90% of the time.

After knowing exactly what I want to manifest, I go into the Theta state, which connects us to the creator’s energy. I use the Theta command to manifest my goal in the highest and best way, and stating exactly what it is I want to manifest. I end it by visualizing and feeling what’s like to already have this in my life.

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We only need to do this process once and let go. If we want to change or tweak the goal, we can do another manifestation command to override it.

Some things are easier to manifest than others. Manifesting physical objects such as a purse might be easier than becoming the CEO of a multinational company, for example.

If the manifestation involves another person, it might also take longer depending on their free will, although the universe will send you the best person available so you’re not waiting years.

That said, if I don’t manifest something after six months or I’m not taking important steps getting there, I’d look deeper into what other blockages I may have or what else I need to learn about this in order for it to come into my life. It could also be a matter of divine timing or having enough good karma points to «redeem» this manifestation.

Even if you know exactly what you want, there is a certain amount of surrendering you must do. Another paradox here: to manifest, you must keep an eye on your goal and make the effort to earn it, but also surrendering when and how it will come to you. You must be open to that fact that the result can come to you from an unexpected source.

When Else to Surrender or Use Offering

I use Tosha Silver’s concept of Offering when I’m not completely clear on exactly what I want. I’ll Offer so I can receive more clues and nudges from the universe on what to do.

Conversely, I’ll also use Offering when I find myself getting too attached to a certain outcome. One summer, I had a really frustrating time trying to hire someone for a project. (Come to think of it, I didn’t use the manifestation process for this so no wonder I wasn’t getting anywhere). As soon as I let go by asking Creator to take the reins, I got a text from a friend who recommended someone who ended up exceeding my expectations.

To learn more about Offering, I recommend reading Tosha Silver’s books. A good one to start with is Outrageous Openness.

Manifesting Checklist

If you’re serious about wanting to manifest something, here’s what to do for it to have a real chance of becoming a reality in your life.

  • What you want is for your highest good.
  • Know exactly what you want and how your life will look like after having it.
  • Major blockages and pending negative karma are cleared.
  • Feel worthy and deserving of receiving it, that it’s possible for you to have it.
  • Able to visualize and feel what it’s like to have this without doubts or fears.
  • Feeling happy and grateful for your life even if your goal hasn’t manifested yet.
  • Manifest this goal using an energy healing modality such as ThetaHealing.
  • Be in the same high vibration as the thing you want to manifest.
  • Listen to your intuition to know which inspired action to make your goals a reality—and then take action.
  • Be patient in your divine timing.

If something doesn’t manifest within two to six months or you haven’t taken important steps to get there:

  • Check for any more doubts, and fears, and blockages.
  • It might not be time yet.
  • You might to earn more good karmic points to obtain it.
  • . or maybe it did show up, but you didn’t have the consciousness to recognize it because it appeared in a different way than expected.

More Manifesting Tips

If you’re manifesting a person to come into your life, make sure it’s not a specific person because you don’t want to impede on their free will. Controlling and manipulating someone else’s free will goes against the law of attraction, so be very careful with that. Instead of asking for a specific individual, ask to bring in the highest and best person for your goal.

If you want to boost your manifesting with visualizations, positive affirmations, vision boards, etc., that can be helpful as long as you’re tapped into positive energy while doing so and not feelings of impatience, doubt, or frustration.

What you don’t want to do is to chase after what you want to manifest. That would be like constantly digging out the seed to see if it’s growing. This is where surrendering comes in. Let the universe do its thing.

Have any other manifesting tips worked for you? Share with us in the comments below.

The 3 Secrets Of Manifestation

What have you already brought into your life – by your direct choosing of it, as the result of doing what you have always done, of not choosing something different? What have you manifested that you don’t want?

Dorothy Ratusny is a psychotherapist specialized in Cognitive Therapy and conscious spirituality.

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how to manifest

  • Spirituality

Psychotherapist Dorothy Ratusny reflects on how we are always manifesting, even without noticing it, and shares the three secrets of how to manifest – anything.

I remember watching an interview some time ago that Oprah gave; describing how after she read ‘The Color Purple’, she wanted to have a part in the upcoming film version. I believe that she also made it known that she was very interested in having a role in this film.

Oprah described a very intense focus – a determined laser focus of her desire that she ‘rehearsed’ for many weeks, until one day she received a call. It was ‘the call’ that offered her a part in the upcoming film version of the book.

At the time, Oprah describes not realizing that she was purposefully manifesting a future desire – yet this is a perfect example of how we can wield the power of our mind – disciplined in focus towards what we want – as our certain reality.

How To Manifest: We Are Always Doing It

It is the mind that charts the course for how you will live. It is the heart that offers the deepest yearnings for what you must do.

In the beautiful nature of your life, you are a co-creator with the universe. If you believe that you are a part of the greater whole, that you are not separate from source energy, then what you are able to manifest is the result of your choosing – of using your free will to decide what will be. It is this simple – we only need to decide everything that we want.

As you practice being far more attentive and observant of your thoughts, you will see how you are always manifesting. Your thoughts determine how you feel and your mood state influences the kinds of thoughts that you think.

You are always bringing into your life what you desire most as well as what you do not want – all of which is determined by your focus and the energy directed towards something.

How To Manifest – Anything: Manifestation Practice

  1. Think of something right now that you would like to witness, to experience, to know; perhaps to be – something that is important and meaningful to you and that you desire strongly. Focus on this now. See the perfect ‘having of this’ in the best possible way.
  2. Take a few moments to visualize this desire already existing in the present. Feel the emotions that accompany this desire. Does this desire feel exciting? (If not, think of a desire that elicits excitement and that feels energizing and expansive when you imagine the having of it.)
  3. Focus on the having of what you want. Focus intently on one thing. See it in your mind as it is unfolding, and then as it is complete here and now. Take your time.
  4. Notice any feelings – and where you feel them in your body. For example, if you desire to be healthy and fit and you are imagining yourself as this, how do you feel as you visualize this as if you already are this – presently.

Making Your Desires Your Reality

Manifesting is seeing (and feeling) the future of what you want now in this moment; and then taking the steps to make this your reality in the physical world.

“I AM” is perhaps the most powerful two words that you could ever use to manifest. Pretend that what you want is already what you have and what you are. What you may have enjoyed in childhood as daydreaming and imagination, continue to be a powerful secret in bringing all that you want into your life – now.

Daydreaming, imagining, pretending and ‘make believe’ are all ways of describing how to manifest.

Shift Your Focus

When you wish to manifest something that is more complex or that may require some time in order to come to fruition – say like completing a college degree or writing a book — you may at times feel like giving up on what you want when it doesn’t seem to be happening fast enough; or if you decide that it is not possible, too much work, or that in some way you don’t really deserve having what you want.

As adults, we can become distracted by what isn’t working and what problems we need to fix. This can become our constant focus – without realizing that this focus brings about more of the same.

One of the secrets to manifesting is to focus on the outcome that you desire most – regardless of the fact that it may not be your current reality. Remember that manifesting is co-creating; it is bringing to you something that you do not yet see.

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If you become distracted by and focused on what currently is when and what is not what you desire, then this can be discouraging. Instead, continue to manifest what you want – as you move in the direction of this.

Of course, it goes without saying that you must also always be grateful, thankful – for what you currently have – and the having of what is still on its way to you.

The Secret Of Manifestation In Daily Life

Give yourself some alone time to practice manifesting using your imagination and intentional focus.

As you go about your day, take a few moments at a time to stop whatever you are doing and see and feel this desire wholly. Use the new language of ‘I AM’ to instill this as your new reality. Let yourself feel the feelings that arise and revel in these feelings for a time. This is how you manifest most effectively.

Let these three guiding secrets help further with manifesting all that you want in your life.

  1. Use your free will to choose.
  2. Be unwavering in your certainty of what you want and hold belief of this.
  3. Direct the energy that wields all things by holding your focus unto what you desire most as you act as though this is already here – now.

Bonus Secret #1: Be grateful for what you are bringing into your life, before it even arrives.

Practice stating what you want quietly and aloud which means that you have clarity about what you want. Choosing is how you initiate the momentum of what you desire – into the physical world.

How To Manifest? Take Action!

As you are focused on what you desire be deliberate in your actions. Begin to live your life as if what you are asking for is already in your life. For example, if you want to be more positive and friendly and to have more friends, begin to live this now. Take the action steps. Be positive and friendly. Consider the kind of friendships that you are looking for and seek these out. Your imagination of this desire and your willingness to live this now is how you manifest it fully.

We are all manifesting in each moment. You manifest when you bring what is wanted (desired) into the material world. You are able to manifest some desires instantly. Each time that you are thirsty – you likely reach for a glass of water. This is manifesting.

Be Autonomous!

All of your actions begin as a thought, an idea, a desire. Knowing that you are always manifesting makes you more accountable to your thoughts and to the actions that you take. This also means that you have a great deal of autonomy; everything is yours to decide. You align yourself with your desires by “asking” – by being clear about what you want – and then as you take deliberate action towards this. When you hold absolute certainty of something desired — whether it is information that you need or to be able to accomplish something – your focus must be deliberate and steadfast, as you take the steps towards this.

You co-creating with the universe may happen in an instant or it may take several weeks, months or even years depending on a number of other factors. ‘Receiving’ an answer to a question is something that you can manifest quite instantly. Having all of the pieces in place towards something that may be of a larger scale may require your continued focus and attention towards this.

Remember, it is your job is to be ready, to hold the course, to not give up, to be clear as to what you want, and also flexible in how it shows up. Be bold in the asking and ‘seeking’ of your desires – without settling for anything less. See if you can practice the laser focus that will direct what you want into your life. You’ve already been doing this. Now as you co-create more, do so with deliberate choice. Let your manifesting be how you live your dream life.

Enjoy the process of manifesting. Imagining what you want is meant to be enjoyable and uplifting.

You enjoy Dorothy’s approach of how to manifest? Start meditating with her now and connect with your intuition, emotional state, true nature and wisdom by listening to Dorothy Ratusny’s free guided meditations:

  1. Three Powerful Life Hacks For Manifesting What You Want Dorothy Ratusny 23:25
  2. Listen To The Wisdom Of Your Heart 12:20
  3. Mindful Intuition Dorothy Ratusny 15:54
  4. How To Feel Happy Meditation Dorothy Ratusny 10:17
  5. The Nature Of What You Are Dorothy Ratusny 9:07
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What is Manifestation? 10 Do’s & Don’t’s

The reason it’s becoming so popular is because the mechanism through which it works requires you to literally practice feeling your best and the process of building that habit is extremely self-empowering.

What are the benefits?

Benefits include better feelings, increased optimism, a heightened sense of self worth, happiness and fulfillment. There’s little downside to trying out manifestation techniques.

How does it work?

“The Law of vibration, the law of attraction and the law of expectation” are all terms you’ll here quite frequently when journeying into manifestation. Science tells us that everything on the planet, including us, is vibrating at a very high rate. When you raise your personal vibration, desires that match your new frequency will begin to appear. You must gain a momentum of good feelings to set this process into motion, (aka: feeling good one time will likely do little for you. There’s no magic pill!) Think about your thoughts creating the things you see in your life. The universe is like a drive-through window and your thoughts are the order, only the universe can’t hear “do want or don’t want,” it just creates more of whatever you are focusing on. So, if you’re thinking about a list of things you DON’T want, all the universe can hear is that your focus is on that and it’s on a mission to bring you more of what matches that momentum.

Can I manifest a partner, home, job or anything else?

Take a radio as a metaphor, if “hip hop” music is the thing you want, but you keep tuning into the frequency of the country music station- it’s impossible to hear hip hop, it’s not the right frequency. But how do you know the frequency of your dream home or dream partner or dream job? Simple, tune in to how you would feel if you had the thing you desire- those feelings and that way of being is your answer. Manifestation involves taking responsibility for the things you’re seeing in your life and choosing more often than not “the bright side” of things. NOTE: we are HUMAN, so this likely won’t result in a 24/7 lifestyle, but with practice and habits, you can choose optimism way more than you think and start the momentum you need.

Manifestation List of Do’s & Don’ts:

Do: Commit to an actual routine. Take your practices seriously and practice until positive thoughts become more habitual than doubts and negativity. (It takes 60 days to build a habit.)

Do: Watch videos/tips/tricks or read books on The law of attraction before putting in a practice.

Do: Repeat affirmations daily.

Do Practice visualizations. Write down a gratitude list of all the amazing things you’re expecting in your life. Close your eyes and picture yourself after that which you desire has appeared. How would you feel, what the thoughts and emotions would you experience? How would your energy feel physically?

Do: Let go of the how. Concentrating on how something will unfold limits the room you have to experience the bigness of what you desire.

Don’t: Make yourself wrong when you are having negative thoughts. The key is gentle adjustment into anything you can do to change your energy into something that feels better.

Don’t: Don’t be afraid of feeling “neutral.” Often when we know good thoughts attract good things, we can be afraid of feeling neutral. In reality, “neutral” is a great place to create from. So when you start to feel negative emotions, choose to do something that simply brings you back to neutral before spiraling downward. (A walk, a tv show, something that simply allows you to take you mind to a place that feels neutral.)

Don’t: Worry when things you perceive as “bad” occur. The universe is working in your favor and circumstance which you don’t understand are paving a path to match your best self when accessing it. Shift the perspective of “bad” into “contrast.” Just circumstances that are contrasting to what you desire, to illuminate that which you do.

Don’t Be afraid to take ACTION! The key, is to take action from an inspired place, that’ aligned with your best self! (Inspired action = inspired results.)


Access this free 5-Days to Manifestation to begin building your habit! 10 minutes each morning will get you on the way to becoming a co-creating machine!

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