What personality type gives the silent treatment?

What personality type gives silent treatment?

The silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse typically employed by people with narcissistic tendencies.

Which MBTI gives silent treatment?

ENFP: The Silent Treatment

Most ENFPs will avoid addressing their anger, however, and focus on activities that make them feel good.

What is the psychology behind silent treatment?

Reasons behind silent treatment

Lack of communication skills: Some people feel they lack the skills to express themselves. Punishment: Silent treatment becomes abuse when it is intended to punish, control, or gain power over someone. To make the other person feel bad. To not appear abusive to others.

What does the silent treatment say about a person?

Research has found that people who received the silent treatment experienced a threat to their needs of belonging, self-esteem, control, and meaningful existence. This type of behavior reinforces the feeling that someone we care about wants nothing to do with us. It can feel as though you don’t exist.

What type of communicator gives the silent treatment?

The silent treatment might be employed by passive personality types to avoid conflict and confrontation, while strong personality types use it to punish or control.

Narcissists and the Silent Treatment

15 related questions found

Is silent treatment a red flag?

Red flag. The silent treatment might seem like a convenient way to opt out of a conversation that is bothering you but it’s also super unhealthy. What most people don’t know, is that the cold shoulder is a subtle form of manipulation.

Is the silent treatment toxic?

When silence, or, rather, the refusal to engage in a conversation, is used as a control tactic to exert power in a relationship, then it becomes «the silent treatment,» which is toxic, unhealthy, and abusive.

Is silent treatment immature?

Silent treatment can be an immature way of dealing with situations and its practice should not be made a habit of. Imagine you have upset your loved one for some reason and they are angry with you.

Should I ignore silent treatment?

Findings from his in-depth analysis revealed that the silent treatment is ‘tremendously’ damaging to a relationship. It decreases relationship satisfaction for both partners, diminishes feelings of intimacy, and reduces the capacity to communicate in a way that’s healthy and meaningful.

Is silent treatment a form of disrespect?

The silent treatment can be deliberate and enacted with some pleasure and cruelty, which is why it is named as an indicator or aspect of abusive relationships, and can be a form of domestic violence.

Is the silent treatment manipulative?

The silent treatment is widely regarded as a form of emotional manipulation and even psychological abuse. It is the act of ceasing to initiate or respond to communication with someone else or refusing to acknowledge them altogether.

What does the silent treatment do to the brain?

The silent treatment is a way to inflict pain without visible bruising – literally. Research has shown that the act of ignoring or excluding activates the same area of the brain that is activated by physical pain.

Which MBTI is secretly very emotional?

The INFP. Deep and introspective, INFPs direct most of their conscious energy to discover meaning and achieving inner harmony with their values. They are one of the most emotionally analytical personality types – having depths and complexities to their emotions that others may only briefly glimpse.

Which MBTI type does not care?

Of all the personality types, ENTJs are arguably the ones who care least about other people’s opinions of them. This is not a personality type who sugarcoats things or cares what others think of them. They are decisive, assertive and extremely blunt. Once you realize this is just the ENTJ way then you’ll be fine.

Which MBTI is the biggest introvert?

One person’s social interactions might cause them to lean toward the INFP as the most introverted personality type, while someone else might know an INTP who they swear is the most introverted person they’ve ever known.

Why silence is the best revenge?

Silence speaks volumes

Believe it, the silence and zero reaction really bothers your ex, and they consider it as the best served revenge. Nothing creates more curiosity than silence. Your ex would expect a vent or an angry rant from you, but don’t give in. If you do, you are meeting their expectations.

How long should silent treatment last?

Ideally no more than 1 hour, hopefully less. Say “I will be back in *** (time) to continue the discussion” even if you can only manage to come back to agree to close it down for the time being, or take the matter to counselling.

What are the benefits of silent treatment?

The research reveals there are benefits to cutting off conversation with a person who is being obnoxious: It’s not as draining on your mental resources, you avoid conflict with someone offensive, and it’s much simpler than getting into a heated discussion.

Why do men give silent treatments?

Many guys hate failing and feeling inadequate. They often don’t have the speed of words to compete with their partner in a conflict. Men’s emotional processing capacity is often much slower than their partner. Whilst being silent is a sign of a man’s need to process it is also a way to avoid the feelings of defeat.

Is silent treatment emotional?

Silent treatment abuse is a form of emotional abuse in which a person refuses to communicate with you in order to control or influence your behaviors. Taking time to cool down after an argument is healthy, but shutting off communication for a long time, especially in order to control another person, is a form of abuse.

Is silent treatment petty?

Silent Treatment – What It is and What It’s Not

But here’s the thing about blatantly ignoring someone: not only is it rude, immature, inconsiderate, cruel, and petty, it’s downright emotionally (and sometimes physically) damaging. Ignoring someone is not an act of love. In fact, silent treatment qualifies as abuse.

Which personality type is emotionless?

Schizoid personality disorder is one of many personality disorders. It can cause individuals to seem distant and emotionless, rarely engaging in social situations or pursuing relationships with other people.

Which personality type hides emotions?

Because people with a Type D personality tend to hide their negative emotions, they may not necessarily feel or act depressed or anxious.

Which MBTI type is needy?

You’re known for getting pretty involved in your friends’ lives, but you can be a little too idealistic, and when they disappoint, you take it personally. Very personally.

Is silent treatment a trauma response?

The silent treatment can stem from trauma, such as attachment injuries, trauma bond relationships, and childhood trauma, so it may also be especially helpful to consider individual therapy. This can help each individual dig deeper into their individual behaviors and help improve relational and communication skills.

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Silent treatment

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Basic representation of how the “silent treatment” works.

Silent treatment is the refusal to communicate verbally and electronically with someone who is trying to communicate and elicit a response. It may range from just sulking to malevolent abusive controlling behaviour. It may be a passive-aggressive form of emotional abuse in which displeasure, disapproval and contempt is exhibited through nonverbal gestures while maintaining verbal silence. [1] Clinical psychologist Harriet Braiker identifies it as a form of manipulative punishment. [2] It may be used as a form of social rejection; according to the social psychologist Kipling Williams, it is the most common form of ostracism.

Origin of term [ edit ]

The term originated from «treatment» through silence, which was fashionable in prisons in the 19th century. [ where? ] In use since the prison reforms of 1835 [ where? ] , the silent treatment was used in prisons as an alternative to physical punishment, as it was believed that forbidding prisoners from speaking, calling them by a number rather than their name, and making them cover their faces so they couldn’t see each other would encourage reflection on their crimes. [3]

In interpersonal relationships [ edit ]

In a relationship, the silent treatment can be a difficult pattern to break and resolve because if it is ingrained, relationships may gradually deteriorate. [4] The silent treatment is more likely to be used by individuals with low self-esteem and a low tolerance for conflict. In order to avoid conflict, an individual will refuse to acknowledge it and will sometimes use silent treatment as a control mechanism. [5] Enactors of the silent treatment punish their victims by refusing to speak to them or even acknowledge their presence. Through silence, the enactors «loudly» communicate their displeasure, anger, upset and frustration. [6] The consequences of this behavior on the person at the receiving end by silence are feelings of alienation, confusion, incompetence, frustration, and self-worthlessness. [7] These feelings can elicit a maladaptive response from victims with high rejection sensitivity levels, which can often lead to violence and more physical displays of aggression. [8]

Purposeful silence is a form of attention seeking behavior and can generate desired responses, such as attention, or a feeling of power from creating uncertainty for the victim. Unfortunately, the avoidance of conflict in the form of silent treatment is psychologically exhausting for all involved parties and leads to the irreparable deterioration of meaningful romantic, and familial relationships. [9]

In the workplace [ edit ]

Research by the Workplace Bullying Institute suggests that «using the silent treatment to ice out & separate from others» is the fourth most common of all workplace bullying tactics experienced, and is reported in 64 percent of cases of workplace bullying. [10] The silent treatment is a recognized form of abusive supervision. Other forms include: reminding the victim of past failures, failing to give proper credit, wrongfully assigning blame or blowing up in fits of temper. [11]

Tactical ignoring [ edit ]

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See also [ edit ]

• Cold shoulder
• Destabilisation
• Ghosting (behavior) also known as simmering or icing
• Guilt trip
• Isolation to facilitate abuse
• Ostracism
• Send to Coventry
• Shunning
• Social exclusion
• Social isolation
• Stonewalling

References [ edit ]

1. ^ ab Booth, Sally Scollay (2017). «Planned Ignoring». The Challenge of Teaching. pp. 181–187. doi:10.1007/978-981-10-2571-6_25. ISBN978-981-10-2569-3 . Retrieved 1 August 2016 .
2. ^
3. Braiker, Harriet B. (2004). Who’s Pulling Your Strings ? How to Break The Cycle of Manipulation. ISBN0-07-144672-9 .
4. ^
5. London, The Kolberg Partnership. «London’s Most Notorious Prisons – Page – Life In London Magazine – All In London». Archived from the original on 29 Aug 2016 . Retrieved 1 August 2016 .
6. ^USA Today (August 3, 2014) Silent treatment speaks volumes about a relationship
7. ^
8. Rittenour, Christine E.; Kromka, Stephen M.; Saunders, Russell Kyle; Davis, Kaitlin; Garlitz, Kathryn; Opatz, Sarah N.; Sutherland, Andrew; Thomas, Matthew (2019-01-02). «Socializing the Silent Treatment: Parent and Adult Child Communicated Displeasure, Identification, and Satisfaction». Journal of Family Communication. 19 (1): 77–93. doi:10.1080/15267431.2018.1543187. ISSN1526-7431. S2CID149541777.
9. ^ Gregory L. (2009) Healing the Scars of Emotional Abuse
10. ^
11. Femenia, Nora (21 August 2012). Warner, Neil (ed.). «The Silent Marriage:: How Passive Aggression Steals Your Happiness, 2nd Edition». Creative Conflict Resolutions, Inc. – via Amazon.
12. ^
13. Cain, Nicole M.; De Panfilis, Chiara; Meehan, Kevin B.; Clarkin, John F. (2017-01-02). «A Multisurface Interpersonal Circumplex Assessment of Rejection Sensitivity». Journal of Personality Assessment. 99 (1): 35–45. doi:10.1080/00223891.2016.1186032. ISSN0022-3891. PMID27292201. S2CID24364760.
14. ^
15. Williams, Kipling D (2002). Ostracism: The power of silence. Guilford.
16. ^
17. «Top 25 workplace bullying tactics» . Retrieved 1 August 2016 .
18. ^ James Larsen Abusive Supervision Article No. 309 Business Practice Findings
19. ^
20. «Ignoring | Consequences | Essentials | Parenting Information | CDC». www.cdc.gov. 2020-06-08 . Retrieved 2022-11-20 .
21. ^
22. Gable, R. A., Hester, P. H., Rock, M. L., & Hughes, K. G. (2009). «Back to basics: Rules, praise, ignoring, and reprimands revisited». Intervention in School and Clinic. 44 (4): 195–205. > : CS1 maint: multiple names: authors list (link)
23. ^
24. Wise, Rachel (2017-05-06). «8 Major Principles of Positive Behavior Support (More Than a Sticker Chart — A Form of Communication)». Education and Behavior . Retrieved 2022-12-05 .
25. ^
26. Carr, Edward G.; Durand, V. Mark (Summer 1985). «Reducing behavior problems through functional communication training». Journal of Applied Behavior Analysis. 18 (2): 111–126. doi:10.1901/jaba.1985.18-111. PMC1307999 . PMID2410400.

Further reading [ edit ]

• The “silent treatment”. Its incidence and impact. Paper presented at the sixty-ninth Annual Midwestern Psychological Association, Chicago, IL. Ferguson, M., and .. 1997
• Kipling D. Williams Wendelyn J. Shore Jon E. Grahe. The silent treatment: Perceptions of its behaviors and associated feelings – Group Processes Intergroup Relations October 1998 vol. 1 no. 2 117–141
• Zadro, L., Richardson, R., & Williams, K. D. (2006, January). The antecedents of interpersonal ostracism: Do individual differences predict propensity to be a target or source of the silent treatment? Presented at the 7th annual meeting of the Society for Personality and Social Psychology, Palm Springs, CA.
• Grahe, J. E., Shore, W. J., & Williams, K. D. (1997, May). Perceptions of the behaviors and feelings associated with the “silent treatment.”Presented at the 69th Annual Midwestern Psychological Association, Chicago.
• Faulkner, S, Williams, K., Sherman, B., & Williams, E. (1997, May). The “silent treatment:” Its incidence and impact. Presented at the 69 th Annual Midwestern Psychological Association, Chicago.[Summarized in New Scientist, 1998, April, p. 18]

External links [ edit ]

• What’s up with the Silent Treatment?Archived 2016-03-04 at the Wayback Machine
• Research: Office silent treatment ‘worse than bullying’Archived 2016-08-10 at the Wayback Machine
• The Silent Treatment: Are You Getting the Cold Shoulder?
• The Silent Marriage: How Passive Aggression Steals Your Happiness (The Complete Guide to Passive Aggression) [Kindle Edition]|

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The Silent Treatment: Are You Getting the Cold Shoulder?

The silent treatment is something that most people know about if, for no other reason, it comes up on the playground and in sitcoms repeatedly. The silent treatment, sometimes called «the cold shoulder,» is the purposeful exclusion of one party from social interactions. In other words, when a person gives you the silent treatment they act is if you aren’t even there. The silent treatment is so named because the person will not talk to you but, in reality, the person may avoid all interaction with you including being in the same room.

Roots of the Silent Treatment

The roots of the silent treatment come from early cultures where a form of punishment was being ostracized. Ostracism was initially a Greek word and was the procedure in which a person could be expelled from the city-state of Athens for ten years. In many cultures, being ostracized meant almost certain death as people could not live without the protection of a society.

To this day, we understand that humans are social beings and find it very difficult to exist completely outside of social interactions.

The Cold Shoulder, Silent Treatment as Abuse

In modern day though, the silent treatment in a relationship is simply a person’s way of exacting control over another person. The person giving the cold shoulder has all the power and creates a situation wherein all the attention is focused on him (or her), and what he perceives as being wrong. The silent treatment is often given as a form of punishment in a relationship and psychologists consider the silent treatment as a form of abuse.

The silent treatment is abuse because: 1

• It is passive-aggressive behavior intended to hurt the other person
• It shows a lack of caring, a lack of respect and a lack of value
• It can hurt the other person more than anything else you do, depending on the other person
• It can contribute to depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem

For many people, the silent treatment is the worst form of emotional abuse.

Dealing with the Silent Treatment

While a person’s first inclination when dealing with the silent treatment may be to get more vocal, more frustrated and more upset, this isn’t a helpful way to deal with the silent treatment. It’s important to remember that while you might want to «fix» whatever prompted the silent treatment, you can’t do that by reading your partner’s mind. The situation can’t be resolved until your partner tells you what is wrong.

When dealing with the silent treatment: 2

• Don’t try to read your partner’s mind – it’s not your job and it’s not fair
• Don’t give the silent treatment back
• Let your partner know that you care about him (or her) and why he is upset
• Invite your partner to explain what is bothering him

If the person giving the cold shoulder still doesn’t want to speak, try to let it go as best as you can and do things that focus on you instead of on him. If you quit playing your part of the game by not focusing on him and not getting angry, he will have to change his own behavior too.

More comprehensive information on Dealing with Emotional Abuse.

APA Reference
Tracy, N. (2021, December 17). The Silent Treatment: Are You Getting the Cold Shoulder?, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2023, May 8 from https://www.healthyplace.com/abuse/emotional-psychological-abuse/the-silent-treatment-are-you-getting-the-cold-shoulder

Last Updated: December 30, 2021

Medically reviewed by Harry Croft, MD