What physical affection do guys like?
Physical Touch Love Language — What To Know, From A Dating Coach
The Five Love Languages were developed by American author Gary Chapman in the early 1990s, and have helped millions of people worldwide to better understand their own relationship needs, as well as their partners’ relationship needs.
Ever considered what your love language might be?
If you crave touch and physical connection in your relationships, physical touch is your love language!
And even if physical touch isn’t your love language of choice, it may be your partner’s (or your prospective partner’s)… And if you can’t give and receive affection through touch, the relationship won’t work out
Therefore, today we’re going to cover:
- Why love languages are important
- What “physical touch” actually means
- Signs physical touch is your love language
TABLE OF CONTENTS
1. Why Love Languages Matter
Before we chat about physical touch specifically, let’s align on why love languages are important.
Love languages are important because they help us navigate relationships, and meet our partner’s, as well as our own, needs.
Knowing your own love languages — you can have more than one love language — can help you:
- Ask for, and get, what you want. If you love being touched and petted, the more cognizant you are of this, the more comfortable you’ll feel asking a potential partner for physical contact ♂️
- Avoid conflicts and miscommunications. I’ve observed that many relationship problems stem from what I call “love language mismatch,” where one partner prefers to receive affection in one love language, but the other partner doesn’t provide enough affection in that same love language. For example, if you crave physical touch, but your partner doesn’t provide it (maybe because they’re uncomfortable with touch, or maybe just because you haven’t communicated about how important touch is to you), you may start to feel unloved
- Deepen your relationships with women. You’ll find that as you learn to receive and deliver affection across multiple love languages, you form more and deeper relationships. For example, if you meet a woman whose receiving love language is physical touch, you’re much more likely to form a romantic connection if you respectfully initiate touch with her early on ❤️
Note that there’s a dichotomy between love languages you prefer to receive affection in, vs love languages you prefer to give affection in.
My experience coaching men over the years has led me to believe:
- You don’t always give and receive love in the same language. For example, you may love to receive physical touch, but prefer to give love in the form of acts of service.
- Most men default to giving in 1-2 love languages, and often have blind spots others. For example, even if you love to receive physical touch, you may not realize you seldom (or never) give it!
Why do I call this out?
Women may pass on you if you can’t “speak” their love language!
So, for love languages you’re less “fluent” in (e.g. if you’re less-comfortable initiating physical touch) you want to both recognize that it’s blind spot or weakness, and practice delivering affection via touch to build better relationships.
2. What “physical touch” really means
If physical touch is your love language, then your preferred way of receiving and expressing love and affection is through contact like:
- Physical closeness (e.g. sitting side-by-side at a restaurant)
- Less-intimate physical connection (e.g. hugging, holding hands, snuggling)
- More-intimate physical connection (e.g. kissing and sex)
The three most important things to know here are:
- Physical touch doesn’t just mean sex. There are tons of ways to deliver and receive physical touch that are less-intimate, like putting your arm around someone’s shoulder, or rubbing their back.
- Physical connection matters. If your partner’s preferred love language is physical touch, you putting your arm around her, or hugging her, can be more important to her than hearing the words “I love you.”
- Physical touch is nothing to be scared of. If you like it when a woman touches you, tell her! Likewise, it’s OK to initiate touch in romantic settings as long as you’re respectful of her boundaries.
Worried about initiating touch, because you fear it’s inappropriate or creepy?
- Try gently testing the waters to see if a woman you’re seeing likes physical touch by touching her hand, elbow, or arm. These are non-invasive places that are usually safe to try on a first date. Just pay attention to how she reacts. Do her expressions and actions indicate she likes being touched, or not?
- When in doubt, ask. It’s wise, not weird, to directly for permission to touch a woman if you’re not sure she’d like it.
Here are a couple of lines you can use to make sure it’s safe to touch a woman:
«Can I give you a hug?»
«Can I touch your hand?»
«Is it OK for me to put my arm around you?»
3. Signs Physical Touch is Your Love Language
Here are some signs that your love language, or her love language, is indeed physical touch:
- Receiving spontaneous kisses and touches makes you (or her) feel loved
- Small physical gestures such as holding hands or resting your head on your partner’s shoulder are some of your (or her) favorite things
- You feel special by the way she looks at you and holds you (or vise-versa)
- Public displays of affection (aka “PDA”) doesn’t turn you off, and maybe even turns you on
- You notice when your partner doesn’t touch you and it makes you feel hurt or like something is missing
- You feel soothed, calmed, reassured, or uplifted from your partner’s touch (or she feels that way from yours)
- The idea of giving or receiving massages sounds romantic and exciting to you
- It’s meaningful when your partner holds you hand, puts their arm around you, snuggles up to you, or touches you
- You love when your partner initiates sex or she loves when you initiate sex with her ❤️
- You seek out relationships that are touchy!
Wrap up & next steps
If you think physical touch is your, or your prospective partner’s, love language.
You should act on it!
- If your love language is physical touch let your partner know that you enjoy expressions of affection in physical ways such as hugs, kisses, and holding hands
- If your partner’s love language is physical touch then deliver it! Just be sure to listen to her, so you understand what types of touch she is and isn’t comfortable with
One last thought — practice makes perfect.
If you’re uncomfortable either giving or receiving touch, you won’t just suddenly wake up one day as a master of physical intimacy.
You need to step outside of your comfort zone, and practice!
My #1 piece of advice here is to start small and get comfortable saying things like:
«Can I put my arm around you?»
«I love to be touched. Will you hold my hand?»
Over-communication is a good thing, because it prevents you from overstepping boundaries.
(This is especially important when things are getting hot and heavy — check out my guide on should ask for a kiss on a first date for example!)
Good luck, and don’t forget to check out the 3 ideas to uplevel your dating life below
Idea #1: Follow me on Instagram
I share dating tips and silly content about my personal life on my Instagram every single day!
What physical affection do guys like?
10 Places Guys Love To Be Touched
When it comes to sensuality, we tend to think of women, rather than men. However, all those little touches, nibbles, caresses and kisses ladies love, also have the power to drive men wild. So, why limit yourself to the obvious, when you know how much he enjoys being touched by the woman he adores?
Ready to explore the masculine landscape of erogenous zones? Here are 10 places guys love to be touched and tips on how to do it.
1. Run your fingers through his hair
Isn’t it amazingly seductive and strangely intimate, when a guy plays with your hair? Now, imagine being him, watching the woman he likes staring up at him, as she seductively runs her fingers through his hair? Even if he doesn’t have any, the scalp is super sensitive and the gesture is endearing, all the same.
You’re not the only one who loves their hair being touched…
Why? Because every man’s hair is different and unique to him. It says something about him, complements his style and expresses his individuality. When you show him that you adore his hair, he feels it in a special way, because you’re appreciating a very unique part of him. Add to that the intense physical stimulation of a head massage and you’re well on your way to fireworks.
2. Nibble on his neck
It’s no secret that the human neck is chock full of nerve endings , but this particular area of a man’s body is often sadly neglected. He loves it just as much as you do, so unleash your inner (but gentle) vampire and look at his neck with new eyes.
Come up behind him and kiss him just below his ear. Nibble lightly on the back of his neck. Run your tongue slowly up the front and softly stroke around his hairline with your fingertips. Whether you do it while you’re both in the kitchen making dinner, or after you’ve gone to bed, this is something he simply won’t be able to get enough of.
3. Tantalise his tongue
There’s nothing more sensual than playing with each other’s tongues, especially when you initiate doing so. It’s intimate, teasing and guaranteed to turn him on. Start by lying down on the bed and lightly licking his lower lip.
Ask him to poke his tongue out and get ready to be creative. Circle your tongue around his, gently suck it and pull back slightly. He’ll be begging for more and when you spice up your kissing life by tantalising his tongue, so will you.
4. Whisper in his ear
Whispering sweet nothing’s in your man’s ear might sound like something straight out of a romance novel, but the ears really are incredible erogenous zones. As well as verbal stimuli, there are sexy little areas that beg to be touched.
Flick your tongue behind his earlobe, in the crevice between the neck. Nibble, suck and tug gently on his earlobe with your lips. Tell him he smells good or how much you love kissing him. Find out which ear is more sensitive and focus on that.
A word of warning though, sticking your tongue into, or directly kissing, his ear canal might have the opposite effect.
5. Tease his fingertips and his feet
Massaging and playing with each other’s hands and feet can quickly turn into heated sex, even if you’re initially doing it for relaxation or affection while you’re on the couch watching Netflix. Fingertips, especially, are extremely sensitive, not to mention perfect tools for teasing.
When you play with his hands, stare into his eyes and slowly bring his fingers to your mouth – it’s obvious which appendage he’ll be reminded of. Start to lick and suck his fingers and you’ll soon take the anticipation to a point of no return.
6. Notice his nipples
Yep, men have nipples too and many of them love your touch! To find out if he does, start with slow, gentle touches and gauge his response or straight out ask him if he likes it. Though his nipples might not be quite as sensitive as yours, it’s likely they’ll be up for a good time.
Try different types of touching with your fingers and tongue. Circle around his nipple, flick your tongue back and forth or try a gentle bite. If you really want to up the ante, rub ice over them and blow on the wet surface. Basically, if it works for you, chances are it’ll work for him.
“Start to lick and suck his fingers and you’ll soon take the anticipation to a point of no return.”
7. Seduce his sacrum
When a guy is making love to you in a position where you’re facing him, think about the areas of his body you love to grab in that moment of passion. His sacrum, or lower back, and butt come to mind.
When you do this randomly during the day, or during foreplay, he’ll experience some of the same sensations, as his mind fills with images of sex with you. This kind of touch creates that delicious anticipation, as he craves what happens next.
8. Touch his inner thighs
Sometimes, withholding touch can be just as sexy as touching, as you no doubt know. His inner thighs are not only close to his favourite sexual region, they’re also a sensitive erogenous zone.
Slowly rub your nails along them when you’re watching TV, or lick, nibble and gently bite on them when you’re in bed, during foreplay. The closer you get, the more he’ll want you to go for gold (so to speak).
9. Perineum play
No doubt you’ve heard of the perineum before, but have you attempted to go there? Many women haven’t, but, when you do, he’ll be in for a pleasant surprise. This area, between his anus and testicles, is extremely sensitive and a top erogenous zone, once you know how he likes the area stimulated.
You can try a number of ways, including gently pressing it with your fingers or softly rubbing your fingertips over the area. Some men love a rolling motion of the flat parts of your knuckles against him. Go in slow and take notice of his responses – he might not have been lucky enough to experience the sensations before.
10. Find the F Spot
Finally, there’s one more spot every woman should be aware of. His F Spot, or frenulum, is the loose section of skin on the underside of his penis, where the head meets the shaft. It looks like a little ‘v’ and it’s at the tip of that ‘v’ that pleasure reigns supreme.
It’s very sensitive, so treat it as you’d like him to treat your clitoris – with a light touch – until you know how he likes to be stimulated. Often, this area is unchartered territory, like many male erogenous zones.
When you combine all of the above, you’ll delve deeper sexually and your connection will grow as much as…well…you can take it from here.